Skip to main content

When I think of home ...

I imagine it's not uncommon to envision living in different places.

When I travel, it's become pretty common for me. I picture living in the city or town I'm visiting. I have my routine - checking rentals on Craigslist, seeing how many yoga studios there are, and of course, Are there Jews? A girl needs her tribe.

I'm comfortable also blaming my friends for enabling me in the whole routine. In their defense they just want me to live where they live because they love me, & I get it.

But it's tapping me out, this search for the ultimate home.

"No place is perfect". Wise words from my wise mom.

You can make a list of the pro's and con's of every last city in the USA and no one place will have everything you desire. And for me, the "everything I desire" can change and morph. I'm flexible and accommodating. I confuse myself even further.

So I wonder what exactly it is I'm desiring - a city, a town, a farm, left or right coast. Some place I've never considered?

Or perhaps, I'm seeking simplicity: A resonance with the earth I'm planted on, an inside sanctuary where I can create and where I can relax into, a green space outside.

Well, I know for sure (when I remember) that all those things are everywhere around me always, I just need to really see. I mean, I'm sitting in Starbucks right now getting all creative in this blog. And there's some foliage outside the window to my left. I feel pretty peaceful and within myself.

So I guess maybe it's not really always about the home, the structure itself, the town and its surroundings, if I wanna drum it down further. Perhaps it's just the feeling I get when I imagine each place, the feeling behind those things.

And maybe what I'm really seeking anyhow are things like security, health, more creativity, and inner peace?

If I can stop thinking and planning my future home for just a sec, I really do remember that all those outside things are always with me, inside me.

Jeesh! I sing about this stuff all the time.

When I think of home ... hmm ...  would be great if they had a Craigslist that's a roadmap back to the center of my heart. Instead of dropdown menus with number of bedrooms and max price for a home rental, there are dropdown menus with choices surely leading me closer to the truth of it all. Instead of max price I could choose "max bliss". Or something like that.

Yes, the perfect home is in my perfect heart.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

staying connected.

I made a big change.  I followed a call.  I was drawn to Colorado, and to the sun, and to things not quite in my view yet.  Two months ago I moved about 30 miles from Denver, to a cabin, in the mountains. It's remote here, but I still need to connect with the internet powers, and to share my music during these extended pandemic times, and to ease into mountain living with a sprinkling of modernity. I found a broadband company who can service my area and last week they installed all the moving internet parts. Yay! No. slow ... slow ... "can't connect"...over and over, "can't connect"...  or WON'T, internet, be honest, is it can't or won't??  (I *may* have accidentally been talking to the modem, and the laptop, the broadband company.) I persisted, and as I prepared for this morning's Zoom service, I plugged my ethernet cable right into the modem and I was connected.  Wahooooo ! A half hour later, it couldn't connect again, despite being...
1 comment
Read more

everything counts.

What a week it has been. My MacBook crashed and needed a new battery. I lost my phone. I found out I have arthritis in my hips. There is a horrid smell coming out of my apartment building A/C so I receive a toxic welcome each time I walk into the building and hallway to my home. Lots of driving, too, which doesn't help the hip sitch, finishing off the week with a journey down to Kohl's to make a return only to learn their computer systems were down.  A long list, counting one by one all the things that went wrong.  Thank You for joining me on this episode of "Poor Me." Oh! And then the money counting; realizing I had spent more than I made and coming face to face with how what I bring to the world is valuable, yet somehow not valuable enough to support a regular 'ol life. What I do counts. Who I am counts.  With each annoyance, frustration, sadness, negative storm cloud, I also had moments when I looked at the beauty around me, slowed down, took a gratitude invent...
Post a Comment
Read more

It's not always black and white.

When I arrived in Oregon eight years ago, it was an adjustment. We are from New York. End of post. Kidding. I noticed, and wasn't afraid to ask: "Where are all the black people?". Now asking a question like this came from an honest and innocent place inside me. And it also might be offensive to some. I understand the implications yet I'm still sharing this story because what followed was pretty impactful for me. New York is a port where peoples from all nations arrived to make a better life. They brought with them sadness for families left behind, excitement for new beginnings, and culture, food and language. Like folks who traveled to this West side of the country to explore new frontiers, there are new beginnings. Different experiences of it, but still important to note a similar story of leaving the nest for something better. New York is very different than Oregon because of the diversity of the influx of different cultures who arrived, and as a res...
Post a Comment
Read more