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It's not always black and white.

When I arrived in Oregon eight years ago, it was an adjustment.

We are from New York.

End of post.

Kidding.

I noticed, and wasn't afraid to ask:

"Where are all the black people?".

Now asking a question like this came from an honest and innocent place inside me. And it also might be offensive to some. I understand the implications yet I'm still sharing this story because what followed was pretty impactful for me.

New York is a port where peoples from all nations arrived to make a better life. They brought with them sadness for families left behind, excitement for new beginnings, and culture, food and language. Like folks who traveled to this West side of the country to explore new frontiers, there are new beginnings. Different experiences of it, but still important to note a similar story of leaving the nest for something better.

New York is very different than Oregon because of the diversity of the influx of different cultures who arrived, and as a result it has so m…
Recent posts

Wonder of Wonder, Miracle of Miracles.

I just had an ah-ha, whilest scrubbing my teeths.

I am emersed in Jewish and mystical study, and the study of spiritual and religious practices of the world, more now than ever as I write my Sabbath Queen show. There is so much to know, so much to learn, and for this lifelong student, I'm in hog heaven.

As a child, I always loved to learn. Moreso about people, and from people and situations, and less from a textbook. Looking back now, I think I thought the constant need for information wasn't the right way for a person to be. Maybe a teacher at school once told me to stop asking questions in class one day. Or maybe my line of questioning in different situations was provocative. Or maybe people didn't like always being under a microscope having to talk about themselves. Or ... I dunno.

Here is my ah-ha: Judaism is a path where you may still not have learned everything even as you take your last breath. Prayers, Hebrew, stories, holidays and festivals, practices, commentaries, …

Golden Retriever.

I'm in a constant state of retrieval.

Retrieving lost parts of myself for recrafting purposes.

Retrieving lost parts of myself that I gave away to others.

Retrieving life moments for reliving purposes.

Digging inside to remember who I am.

Retrieving the light, a golden retriever.

Trinkets & Treasures.

For several months I was jamming through life, unaware, just barely present. Disconnected really.

On this one day, I rested for a minute in front of my dresser. I was tired, sad, feeling pretty hopeless.

I looked down onto the dresser's surface and saw what now appeared to me to be healing presences of all types - necklaces, charms, candles - all together in close proximity, some bracelet chains draped over mala beads, a hamsa resting next to an amber charm. I saw, well, I remembered in that moment that most of these trinkets and treasures had been given to me by this life's family members, each one with a special meaning, given with love and generosity.

The light switched on, I smiled in great gratitude and then breathed a really deep breath, opened up my chest, and lowered my neck and opened to receive the peace I knew was mine. When I opened to receive, my heart space, inside and out, was warm.

It was so good - I was at perfect peace.

I don't think I had been in such a …

Decisions, Decisions.

For several months now, I've known that something big is happening. Haven't been able to put my finger on exactly what it is, if it's career related, family related. It just feels big, and it's happening.

It's also happening for so many of my friends. I keep asking around, "Do you feel like something big is happening?" And they answer "Yessssss!"

How could something big be happening to so many of us simultaneously, in April/May of 2016? I think there was some planetary stuff, or maybe the election is making us all rethink everything. But really - I mean, it's not like the same exact big thing could be happening to all of us. How could that be? We're all holding onto the same string that's attached to a big balloon and floating together above the US?

Whew, it's all kind of amazing, and kind of freaking me out.

Aaaaand ... Too much thinking.

Usually I expend energy trying to figure out what exactly the unknown is (in this case, &qu…

One potato, Two potato

Yesterday I was sifting through a bag of little red potatoes, picking out the ones that weren't soft.

For some reason I just thought the soft ones weren't good any more. I honestly don't know where I learned that.

In any case, I sifted, and at the end of my bad potato-be-gone escapade, I had about a dozen "good" ones and a big pile of "bads" that I threw in the trash.

I stared at the trash, the little soft ones forming a potato layer of insulation for the garbage below it.

And I had a blast of thought - about my grandfather, and him and his family being so poor and only having potatoes to eat. And then it popped into my head, a potato famine that impacted the Irish so horribly.

I wondered if, like me, they all thought the soft potatoes weren't good to eat?

I think their parameters and circumstances were completely and utterly different. I also can't assume that they didn't have their own experience of privilege (like mine of trashing soft po…

I got you under my skin.

I generally don't pay much attention to what others do.

No, that's not what I mean.

I don't pay attention to what others do in that way of attention turned into comparing what they do to what I do. My attention tends to be paid in being inspired by their work, or standing in support of their endeavors, whether it's listening, or offering to execute a task or two on their behalf.

But paying attention and then lessening my confidence is something that's long in my past.

Well, no. I'm lying.

Sorry.

That part of me that I just claimed to be long in my past I recently discovered has actually been laying long and low in the sleepy part of me, right here in the present.

It woke me up last week and started making comparisons.

I was dumbfounded!

I thought for sure I was enlightened by now.

I believe it's very good to pay attention to others, in the way of being inspired to aspire. That's totally legit. But being inspired to aspire doesn't mean you're sup…